Friday, February 8, 2013

ER Visit #2...yep, already

I'm writing from the Children's Hospital of Colorado's ER in Parker, where we've been since 1:30. Our appointment this AM with the pediatrician did not go well for Bailey (or Jenny's clothes, but I'll spare you the details...) and the doctor recommended that we come here for them to further evaluate her symptoms since her fever and heart rate both spiked to frightening levels.

Lesson 50 - I'm learning that getting a call from your wife that a doctor is recommending we take our child to the hospital is another one of those "most terrible feelings in the world.

So we're here at the ER again (I was really hoping we'd space visit 1 & 2 out a bit more than 3 days!), having to go through the torture of watching Bailey get poked and prodded again...

Thankfully the meds seem to have reduced her fever and heart rate, and the nurses were successful in drawing some blood for some of the tests she needs. Unfortunately her blood was clotting so fast that some was untestable. So they decided to try going in to an artery and drawing it that way. So here we are, in an exam room without our Bailey, trying not to worry why it is taking so long!! Thank goodness for iPhones... What did people do to pass the time in yester year?? :-)

Thanks everyone for praying for Bailey, and for me and Jenny. This has been a rough week. I hate being helpless and I hate watching her suffer. Thanks for praying for healing, for wisdom for the doctors, and for peace for me and Jenny.

This week has resulted in a couple thoughts that continue to marinate in my mind. I may come off as being far too open about my innermost thoughts, but I don't really care. I want to share this journey from the perspective of an adoptive father - you know what, I need to stop referring to myself as that. I'm a father. A father to a beautiful little girl.

Lesson 51 - Watching Bailey suffer (with the flu and with the shots and other invasive tests), how can it not conjure up visions of how much pain Our Heavenly Father must've endured as he watched his innocent, flawless Son endure a punishment he didn't deserve. There is no greater love. What a sacrifice, for us. What anguish God must've overcome to allow for the cross. I can barely make it through Bailey receiving a shot.

Lesson 52 - My tears, my aches for our daughter are just as real as those of any biological father. I am so thankful that God has stitched a bond between me and Bailey already, dada and daughter. I will need a lot of strength to respectfully address "ignorant guy" that will someday inevitably say something about her not being a "real" daughter. You know what, I've been falling in love with her since we she was 2 weeks old, the day we first saw her. I've been learning about her as she grew for her first 11 months. Let's just call it a long distance relationship, ok? Bailey is ours and we are hers. End of discussion. Ok, off my soapbox.

Bailey's back now and we're waiting for test to the main health campus tomorrow for more tests...


  1. Thinking of you guys and praying!

  2. I'm prayin for you three! It's so encouraging to see your heart choose rightly in the midst of the struggle and inspiring to watch the journey.

  3. Thank you for your openness and for sharing your deep love for your daughter. I'll be praying for all of you.

    I was adopted as an infant, and have heard all kinds of references to "real" parents. I am infinitely grateful for the love my birth parents showed by giving me up -- but my "real" parents are those who did all the parenting (it's a verb, not just a noun!).

    And here's a little ditty to keep on hand for awkward moments: Being adopted is a one-time event. It's not an identity.

    - Mandy